I came back but now I am all alone.

Like th title says, i came back to church. for youth service. But i am always alone. And ever since, my heart has been heavy and burdened. Why? The random cryings came back.

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I thought

I thought this kind of nights dun exist anymore. I was shutting down my laptop and i started to cry like siao. What is wrong with me?! Its nt like i even watch shows that reminds me of you. I guess i am just crazy. Literally.

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EFMA

I thought i was early and called u all. Guess u all didnt even bother to call me and see whr i am. Paper was at 10, i thought it was at 1030. Turns out u all called each other, called and called. All but me. As if th paper wasnt reason enough for me to want to cry.

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From boy to man

First ever trip to Tekong today! bro enlisted today and it was sort of interesting to see the stuff but i wished we could see real life action which we did not. :( on the menu today was chicken rice ayam penyat style! I LIKE! ^^ nt bad for army food though but bro said tht cause parents come so food nicer. LOLL


ok so was just thinking abt you and u tweeted me. ok self discipline please go and study isabel toh if not u are gonna flunk ur exams and be a loser.

MUGGER MODE ON.

Drinking

I needa go drinking badly. Like too many things happened, i just wna drink and be drunk n puke. I feel so terrible now.

Like why does such a simple thing make me so angsty and pissed off?! Seriously, everytime i am late or skip sch its like i have difficulty meeting u guys after tht. Its nt it will nvr be within ur plans to make it a point whr you guys bother looking for me.

i blame me. Thx.

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#foreveralone

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Never ever before

This few weeks have been a real torture for me. been crying and crying non-stop for a few nights alrdy and its like for no reason at all wtf. ok mayb got reason: K.

I know you do not know the existence of this blog so would not have a chance to read this but i read your tumblr and it really makes me feel like a bad friend and even to the extend that i feel that i do not know you at all. all this time i thought you were so cheerful and happy and carefree and like any other teenager, has problems sometimes but quickly resolves. ever since i know that you cut yourself, i have been so shocked and sad. the more i read your tumblr, the more i find out about you.

- you pop the pills to sleep
- you cut
- you cry yourself to sleep
- you cant sleep
- you drink to minimize the pain

things that i do not know before. i really wna be there for you and i really promise you that i would not walk away from you. and that i will be here for you. but when will i ever have the courage to tell you all these??

K, i really love you and wna help but i dun know how :'(  will you ever be alright?